Since you’re already up

Fourth Day In Jamaica (Wednesday, November 23, 2005)

11:00 – It was raining this morning, so I stayed in bed a little later that I would have had I been working on my wack tan. When I eventually rolled out of bed I made my way down to the beach where my dad was trying his damndest to tan through some thick ass cloud cover. The rest of my family was just sort of sitting around doing not too much. I sat around with the family until I had enough and then made my way to the lunch buffet. Another bout of monster salad ensued.

12:30 – 1:00 – My mom had figured out how to get to town to check out the shops, so she wanted some people to head with her to do this. My youngest sister had a meltdown earlier and was in a horrible mood, so I didn’t really want to end up with her. These meltdowns always seemed to happen at family gatherings, and I am pretty sure they happened because she is spoiled. My parents are super protective of her, so they don’t ever see it as such, choosing to believe that the meltdowns happen because my older sister attacks her. I am some kind of impartial observer, but never impartial enough to convince my parents what actually happened. Either way, she was going shopping, so I didn’t want any part of this shopping.

1:00 – 3:30 – I did some CASB. If I manage to accomplish anything in my life I hope that it is getting CASB shut down. That program seems to go out of its way to make you hate it.

3:30 – 4:30 – My dad swings by to see what I am doing. He didn’t want to go shopping and spent the day trying to soak up the non-existent sunrays. My dad has already had melanoma scares, but doesn’t seem to give a shit. He just likes a good tan. Regardless, he decides we should go for a beer and wait for the girls to get back. I had four beers over the following hour and we likely exchanged 10 words. I think I initiated every aborted conversation.

4:30 – 6:20 – The whole family sits around doing not too much. This period is actually lost to me in my current gin-glossed state. I have no idea what happened. I’m sure I got changed into something appropriate for work and likely listened to some music in my headphones. I haven’t written much about that but every time I say I am with my family I am actually listening to music.

6:20 – 7:00 – My parents decide we need a drink so we head off to the lobby bar. I knock back a few beer and listen to some stories about what my mom and sisters saw in town. Thrilling stuff. I am trying to ascertain what I can pick up for mike in Ocho Rios to make up for missing his birthday. So far I have no good ideas. We will see what tomorrow brings.

7:00 – 8:30 – We head to the Mandalay, which is billed as the Asian restaurant. It is supposed to be a tapanyaki joint, but ends up being just another buffet. I really have no complaints as the food trumps the Asian fare I normally eat (Singapore Sam’s). I eat a buttload of deep fried goods and feel very, very full.
8:30 – 9:30 – The nightly show doesn’t start until 9:30. I know this because I asked one of the performers named Anthony. Have I pointed out yet that all the dudes here call me soldier? I like it. It is hard as hell to make friend with the staff here, or at least way harder than in Palm Beach. They tend to try to stay out of your way, but if you make the effort to approach them first they are all quite nice. And they teach you cool handshakes. Either way, on our way back to the rooms after supper my mom points out she bought cards in town and now we have something to do while we wait. I grab a beer and we start playing uno, except my dad who doesn’t play card games. I lose to Tory who is totally cheating.

9:30 – 10:45 – We head to the show to watch some reggae band from Montego Bay play. The same sort of skits and icebreakers are put on by the staff for the first half hour. The dude who hosts all of these is a tiny guy named Mosquito who speaks five languages that all sound the exact same. He is vaguely not straight, and comes across like a Hispanic Martin Short. He is fucking hilarious. After the staff show the band comes on, and one drink in my whole family leaves. I am once again left to hang out by myself or head to bed ridiculously early. I swear to something that tomorrow if they pull the same shit I am posting up at the bar and waiting until the last person leaves to head to sleep. Until then I’ll write shitty blog posts.

Peace.