I’ll stick to my needle and my favourite waste of time

This is a disclaimer, as I wouldn’t expect anyone to read this shit. It is likely unentertaining, and really just here so in a few months I recall what I did on this trip. Kind of like what I tried for Palm Beach, but forgot anyways. It ended up all getting posted on the same day even though it was written on the proper day.

Travelling to Jamaica (November 19, 2005 - Mike’s Birthday)

2:30 am – I get started on packing my bag. I should have made a list or something as this appears to be an exercise in haphazardly throwing shit into bags. I fill two bags with stuff I hope I will need and head to sleep.

5:00 am – Wake up to Common’s Be turned up really, really loud. At least I woke up. Get showered up and call a cab, which is there in about 6 minutes. I end up taking off to the airport far too early.

5:30 – 6:30 – I sit around trying not to look like a terrorist. It is hard to do with my awesome 2 day old beard.

6:30 – My family shows up and apologizes as they gave me the wrong time.

7:15 – I finally board a plane to Toronto and promptly fall asleep, much to the disappointment of the old guy beside me. His listening audience cut in half, he promptly starts telling some retarded story to the lady on the other side.

Lost track of time due to time zones – We arrive in Toronto and find out we are in Terminal C. From prior experience I know that the C terminal at Pearson has some of the worst airport restaurants I have ever seen. I fail to convince my family to shuttle to a better terminal and we sit down to eat shitty chicken wraps at Swiss Chalet.

3:20ish – We board a plane destined for Montego Bay. I am seated next to another old person who promptly introduces himself. I pull out the rap star head phones, as these are better at indicating a lack of interest in discussions than the iPod earbuds. The sweet sounds of Dillinger Four drown out yet another retarded story and I close my eyes.

10:00 Jamaica time – The plane lands in Montego Bay after flying through an electrical storm. Exciting to be certain. We then sit around in a bus to take us to our resort and listen to the drunk 40 year old dorks behind us. My rap star headphones make another appearance and the volume gets turned up while I let Placebo drown out the retards. Nothing is quite as annoying after a day of travelling as drunk white losers mimicking Jamaican accents. We get to the resort after a 2 hour bus ride with the drunk bachelor crew on what is by far the worst roadway system I have seen in my life. The bed in my room looks far too comfortable so I pass out.

Note: Mikes, if you ever read this I totally didn’t forget your birthday. I was travelling all day and by the time we got here I found out I have no cell coverage in Jamaica. It also appears that you need to buy some online time. As such I am going to pile a bunch of stuff up for when I actually pay for it, which includes your Happy Birthday and throwing this shit on my blog. I am heading into Ocho Rios at some point this week and will try and buy you something that doesn’t suck.