Raise some hands, say my name and let it break

First day in Jamaica (Sunday, November 20, 2005)

12:30 – This is when I roll out of bed. My entire family has been up since 8 in the morning. I wander into the shower in a failed effort to look moderately presentable. I venture outside and immediately begin to sweat. No worried though, as I learned my lesson in Palm Beach and have packed multitudes of undershirts.

1:00 – I track down my family and we head to the first of what would appear to be many identical buffets for lunch. I lunch on random meat and salads before finding out that there is a jerk chicken shack on the beach. I will conquer that tomorrow.

1:30 – 4:00 – My sisters and I sit on the beach trying to soak in as many of the sun’s cancerous rays as possible. I read Transworld Snowboarding and appreciate the situation as I am sitting on a beach on an island pining for snow on mountains. At least I know I live in the proper hemisphere. My dad and I take some time to wander the beach and check out the topless sunbathers. Everyone has to appreciate hot European teenagers and their desire to have an even tan. I contemplate it, but can’t bring myself to break out the camera.

4:00 – 4:30 – My dad and I lose at horseshoes to a couple Germans wearing Speedos. I think they won due to the lack of drag. The workers here seem determined to make sure I move my fat ass around. I am more than content to sit in the sun and listen to music while reading. Those dudes are having none of that.

4:30 – 6:00 – I get started working on my back log of CASB. This really just involved staring at the computer and telling my parents that if I fail this module I am quitting accounting to open a bar somewhere in Calgary. They seem unfazed.

6:30 – 10:00 – We head out to the supper buffet place which has a substantially larger selection. I had a bunch of random veggie dishes and some dumpling things that were supposed to have meat in them, but did not appear to. I am well on my way to being a well-rounded vegetarian, except for the desire to consume as many animals as possible. After supper finished the family wanders around and settles into some seats to watch a reggae band playing on the beach.

I have left until now to talk about girls as I haven’t really seen any up until now. Any girls I checked out on the way over were most definitely with dudes, which leaves them fun to look at but that is about it. After supper, when we hit the larger crowds, I noticed that there were a bunch of hot girls around, they just appeared to be with their families. I figured since I was with my family as well, that left these girls fair game for being perved on. Bulletproof reasoning if such a thing ever existed.

It is worth noting that while we listened to this reggae band I probably tripled the rest of my family in drinks (those members that were even drinking), which both of my lovely sisters decided to point out. I told them that if I was going to have to spend the rest of the week with them, I would need something to keep me going. I think my mom was kind of unimpressed.

So I am sitting with my family, checking out random girls who are likely between the ages of 16 and 20, wondering what the hell I did to deserve this. And then my whole family calls it a night and takes off. This leaves me in the uncomfortable position of hanging out by myself waiting for the (extremely) off chance that I meet someone, or heading to bed myself, not quite half cut, at 10 at night. Needless to say I cut out of there pretty quick and joined the fam, my first day in Jamaica cut short because of a lame crew. And then I nerded out and typed up a blog entry.

Peace.