I hope your new boyfriend gets cancer in his dick

Recapping my week in Vancouver has seemed like such a ridiculous amount of effort that I have continued putting it off, however I am realizing that I suck at remembering things so I may as well get down what I can. You must realize that this is such an affront to my blogging style to have to force things out. When I do that things tend to ramble and that is quite likely what this will end up being.

As a note, the title of this blog has nothing to do with any new boyfriends; rather it is to celebrate the fact that Atmosphere will be in Calgary at the end of September. The last time I saw them they absolutely killed it. Everyone should get down.

So ya, Vancouver. First impressions were good, the place is busy, sunny and all in all a good goddamn time. Obviously the week involved a big bag of drinking on my part. I’m sure no one is surprised by that now. Training was good because the people in it were cool. And it wasn’t too hard. I like that,

Tuesday was our work organized social at the Yaletown Brewpub. It was a good time and the food was really good. If you are ever in that neighbourhood check it out. The beer they make there is pretty good, better than a Maguire’s or something like that. After the work thing ended we wandered down to a bar called Tonic. Honestly I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it was the weirdest little bar I have ever been in. I am pretty sure our group was an average of 8 years older than every other person in that bar. It was slightly off putting, although I’m sure had I been there with a group of friends I would have had a blast being a creep.

On Wednesday Dimitri took us to this Greek joint called Taki’s Taverna. It was quite good and I had way too much food on my plate. It was around this time that I noticed that there are approximately ten thousand more restaurants of considerable quality in Vancouver than in Calgary. This makes it ten million times more than in Saskatoon. I suppose that is a function of the population, but it is definitely something that plays a large factor in my decisions regarding permanent locations. So ya, I’m pretty sure now that wherever I happen to end up it won’t be in Saskatchewan. Just thought I would throw that out there.

To bring a frame of reference to Thursday: does everyone remember that scene in the movie Seven where the fat guy had to eat spaghetti until he died? That is sort of what we did, but it was with Sushi and Korean BBQ. Good food all around (the restaurants name escapes me) however I was so full that I couldn’t even go for a drink after supper. I just went back to the hotel and laid in bed trying not to die from being so full. You may be thinking that I just didn’t need to eat that much, but this place we went to had a diabolical rule that if you don’t eat everything you order you get charged for it. It’s an ugly rule to be sure, and with Dimitri and Jackson continuing to order food long after everyone thought they were done, I was prepared to pay the extra. I never want to eat that much again.

Friday was the final day of training so we got off nice and early. I really wasn’t sure what to do because Jon was supposed to be at work all day and then studying at night, leaving me to find my own way around. Luckily the Vancouver guys invited me out for some going away drinks around 5:30, and then promised to take me out on the town that night. And they did. I was already half cut by the time I got to their drinks at The Lennox, due to an afternoon of booze consumption, and I proceeded to get even more cut. I was phoning people who didn’t need to be phoned at around 8:30 that night to give you an idea of the state I was in. From The Lennox, we headed out to The Caprice where we met up with more dudes from Vancouver. The bar was empty when we got there, but the next memory I have is it being full. The next one is getting the cab driver to take me to the best pizza joint he knows, with the promise that he would get a slice for his efforts. Jon tells me that he heard me get back to his place because I accidentally slammed the door and then yelled fuck. Great house guest.

Saturday morning I woke up early, which I suspect is due to massive Red Bull consumption the night before. I meandered about Jon’s house and when he finally woke up he was in study mode so I wandered about some more. We had some sushi for lunch and then I set out to check out Kitsilano, which I decree to be a dope neighbourhood. That night Jon took me to the coolest goddamn sushi joint ever where we ate Tuna Tempura that slayed all other tempura ever. I wish I could remember that the place was called. From there it was UBC and the grad student lounge for pub olympics (which ended tied) and then off to Fiction (the site of my last Absinthe drinking experience) for one beer too many and some delectable yam fries. We checked out after that and went back to Jon’s place, where he thoroughly kicked my ass at Magic Cards. It was a wicked night all in all and I appreciate the hospitality of Jon and his roommates, who may or may not have known I was there.

So there was Vancouver. It was an awesome week, and now I am even excited to go back for Christmas, something I wasn’t prior to this trip. Back here in Calgary it is work as usual, and I have nothing new to say about that, so I won’t say anything.

Keep it right.

Oh ya, one last thing. In Vancouver Jon introduced me to Thunderbirds Are Now! To me this band comes accross as the spastic child of Hot Hot Heat and Placebo. The cd I have (Justamoustache) is fucking spot on. I highly recommend it.