If you fuck up, I’m telling Tim

Completely without reason, I am posting my rankings of NOFX’s albums to date (that I own, so no Ribbed, S&M Airlines, Liberal Animation, The Greatest Songs Ever Writter (By Us), or the EPs):

1 – Punk In Drublic – This is number one for a plethora of reasons. First, it was the first NOFX album I heard, owned, and was pretty much my intro to punk rock. All personal reasons, I suppose. It was also the most cohesive of their albums with almost all the songs leading into each other. The album contained probably the most loved NOFX song of all time, Linoleum, but you would be hard pressed to pick out any other standouts (Happy Guy, Jeff Wears Birkenstocks, Don’t Call Me White (an honest turning point for me), Dying Degree, Dig, …I’ll stop now) as everything on it was spectacular. I really can’t say enough good things about this cd as this album is probably (in my opinion) the pinnacle of punk rock. I am a fanboy.

2 – I Heard They Suck Live – This is far and away the greatest live record ever made. They recorded it because they were sick of the shitty quality of the bootlegs of their floating around (plus they probably figured they should be getting paid if people are selling their live shit), and they definitely put out a great sounding album. They play pretty much all their classics up to that point in time, and it was before Fat Mike got overtly political, so the stage banter isn’t so much about killing Bush as it is about pierced assholes and getting railed up.

3 – So long and thanks for all the shoes – I remember when Dave got this cd I was super jealous, because I have always been too lazy to make money and couldn’t ever seem to justify buying it. That is a stupid reason to not to own this cd. Luckily Napster was getting going around then (I think) and either way I got it pretty quick. This is another album filled with crazy classics, like It’s My Job To Keep Punk Rock Elite and I’m Telling Tim. NOFX kept their style consistent, but seemed to slow it down a little more than on previous records. Still it was fucking brilliant.

4 – The Decline – This wasn’t so much a real cd as it was a twenty minute long song. An amazing 20 minute long song. The song is pretty much 4 or 5 songs all tied together, with a general message that the world sucks these days. Hella good writing, and probably the best bass work seen from Fat Mike. I don’t have too much else to say, other than I am really glad that they released this.

5 – White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean – It gets kinda hard to start distinguishing the albums around here, but I’m going to do my best. This cd had Bob on it. Probably NOFX’s second best known song, mostly due to the video of the fat guy on the scooter. I don’t know if this was the album where they tried to break commercially, or if I just know more videos from it, but it had more videos than others. Once again it is hard to pick out standout tracks, so this time I really won’t try (ok, Please play this song on the radio, Bob and Soul Doubt). This is a solid album from start to finish, but not one I ever picked up until later. I suppose that is why it is down here on the list.

6 – The War On Errorism – This is their newest cd (unless one has been released since I entered my auditing bubble), and in my eyes a step up from Pump Up The Valium. The band hasn’t really gotten slower, but Fat Mike has been writing different kinds of songs (see Whoops I OD’d, 13 stitches). The humour is definitely still there, and the songs are still catchy as all hell. I really don’t think any band in the world (possible exception is Bad Religion) has stayed this consistent over this many albums, without sounding played out and tired. My favourite tracks on this one were 13 stitches, an account of Fat Mike’s first three memorable punk shows, and Mattersville, a song about a retirement community for punks. Solid material all around. I have no complaints about this album.

7 – 45 or 46 songs that weren’t good enough for our other albums – A 2-disc collection of b-sides, compilation songs and all the songs from their 7-inch club. I really like the 7-inch songs, songs I believe were all recorded live in one take. Awesome versions of songs that later made it onto albums with a little more polish. The other disc is the songs that made it onto the punk-o-ramas, Fat compilations, and others I’m sure. These are some of my favourite songs (We threw gasoline on the fire, Drugs are good, Timmy the Turtle), and a bunch of other songs that are really fucking good. My only complaint is the lack of a cohesive sound on the album, due to the random recording dates of the songs. This is better than any other b-side album I have ever picked up (although only Insesticide comes to mind).

8 – Heavy Petting Zoo – This is the album with the painting of the guy fingering a lamb on the front. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Anyways, a solid album (I sound like a broken record, must invest in a thesaurus (that word looks like a dinosaur’s name) but not one that registered at the same level as others did for me. If you are looking for standouts I would say the first two tracks (Philty Phil, and Hobophobic) are my favourite.

9 – Pump Up The Valium – I really do have to say, that this is the one NOFX cd I really never got that into. I don’t listen to it much, and it was the shortest out of all of them. On the plus side it had Theme From a NOFX Album, and Bottles To The Ground. Both great songs. Not too much else to say about it really.

10 – Maximum Rock and Roll – I traded License to Ill and Ill Communication for this cd. Needless to say I got royally ripped off. The cd was recorded when they were 16 and I think Fat Mike and Melvin are the only members of the band on it. Sweet cover of Iron Man (first song I learned on guitar) and Ant Attack. Really it is just raw 80s punk, which isn’t so bad, but nothing compared to their later albums.

That wraps up my NOFX collection. Moral of the story is listen to this band and burn your goddamn Green Day cds and concert tickets. I’m talking to you Mike.

Peace.