I’m like Big’s first album, I’m ready to die

I’m not sure if too many people know this but I have a knack for coming up with sweet names for songs. I actually think if I were to have any super power this would be it. This should definitely be a more marketable skill then it is. How many songs do you know with shitty ass names that are just the first two word of the chorus, or some generic adjective? I name songs sweet things like Pocket Watch Pocket, and Cakefight. I actually think those are the only songs I have ever named that existed, and maybe Dave can dispute me on actually naming them, but I am pretty sure I did. I also named an old Slippy tape I had Blast, but that wasn’t really the cool part. That was the cover made out of hockey tape. I used to have mp3s of that stuff, but I appear to have lost them in the shuffle. Maybe if Mike still has them on his computer he can hook me up, and then everyone can revel in how awesome mine and Dave’s high school band was.

I have also come up with sweet names for bands and gangs and all types of other things that have never existed. Granted there was the world’s greatest webpage for The Bulletproof 7, and we did go spray paint MRE on a bunch of shit back in high school, but the end product never lived up to how awesome the names were. The HMDs do cruise around in the summer, which should get started again soon, but I think that is mostly a drinking team. That should start up again too, before Brehon has to quit drinking so he can get smart.

I have decided that I like posting songs, so here’s another. I don’t know if anyone watches Freestyle Friday’s on 106 & Park, but if you do you might have seen this dude rip kids up. Last I heard of him he won $100k at some rap summit in the Dominican. The song is called Fuck Jay-Z but give it a listen before you decide anything.

Peace.

I’m so hard you could donate my heart to a lion

I don’t know if anyone gives a shit but Papoose and Kay Slay just signed a deal to release Pap’s album in conjunction with Flip Mode Squad. I’m hoping that helps him blow up bigger, but I’m sceptical because I can’t remember any album getting pushed by Flip Mode doing anything other than some Busta Rhymes shit. Either way there should be some singles out soon. I’m sure everyone is really excited about this because I know I am.

So ya, more talk about rap. Does anyone who reads this even give a shit about rap? I can’t say it really matter because I don’t have all that much to write about when you take away music. Right now I would say my mix is 1/3 hip-hop, 1/3 indie, and 1/3 punk. It’s kind of like a well balanced meal. You don’t ever get sick of anything because you don’t over listen to anything. What I would really like to listen to is a new Fjords CD, a new leo37 CD, or a goddamn Blake Face cd. At least for the first two I’ve got one album to listen to, and I think both The Fjords and leo37 are going to be putting something out this summer. As such, I think Mike needs to step his game up and get some shit recorded. Give this shit a listen and tell me that doesn’t bring you back to the good old days of melodic hardcore. I don’t think anyone does that shit anymore. Maybe Mike is too happy these days to write songs like that anymore. Someone should fix that so the kid puts out some more music.

I think that’s it for me tonight. Unfortunately I’m not gonna be back in Saskatoon for Easter. Hopefully I can swing some weekend soon after that.

Peace.

Even your superficial raps is super official

I feel naked without the internet at work, is that normal? I’ve spent the last two weeks being unable to find out what albums are coming out, what concerts are coming up, how Dora and Martin are doing, and what awesome news stories have been farked. What a waste of time. Instead I’ve been forced to work excessively hard, but have managed to get much more done. There may be a lesson in there somewhere but I’m trying my best to ignore it.

This has also caused me to be a really bad e- mailer. So if anyone enjoys hearing from me and they haven’t, I apologize.

This weekend is ski weekend at work. Somehow I was part of the committee that organized this event. Most of the jobs involved phoning the hotel and organizing a block of rooms, organizing a huge supper, or a ski race. My job was to find the banner with the work logo on it. So far I have been unsuccessful. I do however get a free hotel room Friday night for my efforts. Sometimes keeping people’s expectations low is a good thing.

I have nothing substantial to add after this. Consider the rest of this post a make-work project.

I’m not too good at make work projects I guess.

Also, The Perceptionists CD is interspectacular. I highly recommend picking it up. For those who care, this group is Akrobatik, Mr. Lif and DJ Fakts One. Plus Humpty Hump is on a track. I think that is saying enough.

Peace.

While my mother waters plants, my father loads his gun

My dad doesn’t actually own a gun, we don’t roll that way in my family. My uncle does though because he is a cop, and everyone knows cops need guns in case they feel like acting really macho. I’m not actually talking about my uncle because he is a pretty mellow dude, but I have definitely met some guys who had no business being strapped. On a related note, have I pointed out that the Calgary Police made a very large Taser purchase this year? Next time I tell someone to run from the cops I hope they don’t listen to me. Based on what I’ve seen on Kenny vs. Spenny these Taser things probably cause the most physical pain a person would ever feel in their life. That sure isn’t something I think some dickhead cop should be able to use just because he isn’t in good enough shape to chase a kid down.

I am going to play hockey tonight. It is the last game of the regular season after which our team is in some sort of consolation playoff. I’m sure there will be three full lines out tonight, which is good for me because I am all kinds of out of shape, but it’s bad for me because then you don’t end up actually playing enough to get into it. In any case shooting pucks is pretty fun and I will hopefully do that once or twice this game.

I have not had much to put on the internet these days. I did however finally pick up The Perceptionists’ CD and an Against Me! CD. I think it is their newest one. Both are enjoyable.

I recommend this song if you feel like chilling out. The Perceptionists – 5 O’Clock feat, Phonte of Little Brother. It is in iTunes format so sorry about that.

Peace.

Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti

I went to see Dave Chapelle’s Block Party Sunday night with Ross, Jess and Stern. As a service to anyone who is thinking about seeing this I just thought I would point a couple things out.
1 – This isn’t a comedy show. It’s not one of Chapelle’s stand-up gigs, and to be quite honest the full out laughs were fairly sparse.
2 – That was just about the best concert I can imagine attending, and I was excited for the whole damn thing.

Now for a review of performances, that will totally give away all of the songs I can remember, so be warned.

dead.prez absolutely killed. I thought their performance of Turn Off the Radio was incredible. I wasn’t feeling Hip-Hop quite so much, because you couldn’t hear the thump that kind of makes the track. However, in case anyone was wondering you can hear it way better on the soundtrack.

Talib had a sore throat so it was kind of weird listening to him rap in a lower voice. I knew about this beforehand so it didn’t ruin anything, but it would have been nice to heard him perform at his regular level. That being said, that boy killed it and I have no idea how. I had a cold last week and could barely talk on the phone.

Mos Def did Umi Says and I loved it. It’s too bad he is actually good at acting too, because I wish he would put out more music.

Mos and Talib did a couple songs from Black Star, which is one of the greatest albums of

Jill Scott and Erykah Badu probably shouldn’t be lumped together, but to be quite honest I am not too terribly familiar with their work. All the Jill Scott stuff I have is off Jazzy Jeff comps, and all the Erykah Badu I have is either with Outkast or Guru’s Jazamatazz. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy their spots, because both those girls can sing. In fact, I should probably dig up some Erykah because I found her songs particularly enjoyable.
I honestly don’t remember Common doing any solo joints, but that was probably because it was near the beginning and I was all focused on how big my popcorn and pop were. Good lord were they huge. I do remember his coming out to kick it with just about everyone though, either as a hype-man or to spit his guest verses. He looked like he was having the time of his life, and that was probably the best part of all of it.

Kanye played early, but for a dude who says he can’t rap very well I thought he was great. Jesus Walks is still a killer song regardless of how many times I hear it, and when he does it live I think I like it ever more.

The Roots backed everybody and did a hell of a job. The highlight of their performance for me Boom from Tipping Point where Black Thought spits like Big Daddy Kane, and Kool G. Rap. For the performance both those dudes came out to kick their parts from the song, and Black Thought was wearing a Big Daddy Kane screened-blazer. I thought that was great.

The highlight was obviously the Fugees performance, which they leave until the end of the show. Lauryn Hill singing Killing Me Softly was probably the highlight of the movie. The Score is still one of my favourite albums.

So ya. That was that.

On a different note, because that last shit I wrote about came out like garbage, instead of finding a better job I have just decided to start a gang, because I hear those dudes make lots of money. I’ve been listening to a lot of hood rap lately and I think this has adequately prepared me for a life of slinging rock. I will have to work on my knife game, but some things are bound to take time. I’ll probably ask the next cop I see what colors are taken, because I wouldn’t want to be cramping any other gangs style.

If anyone wants to join just drop me a line. You gotta bring your own gat if you want one, otherwise everyone is welcome. Except bitches.

Peace.

Slicing up eyeballs, I want you to know

I went to see No Use last night. They played pretty much every song I was looking for them to play with the sole exception of Feeding the Fire. I don’t really begrudge them this omission as I think the song was recorded 15 years ago or something ridiculous. I also spent half the night explaining to Brian why bands like No Use don’t draw huge crowds anymore. The best way I can put it is that Fat Wreck’s big boom happened when we were teenagers, and I don’t really think the bands from back then remained as relevant as they could have. Shit, I couldn’t even name an album they put out after Making Friends, and I bet you three-quarters of the crowd last night couldn’t have either. I’m assuming they have put out albums since then, but I’m too lazy to look them up right now. And that is why the shows for older bands who aren’t NOFX or Bad Religion are sparsely attended. I think that makes sense.

I did however enjoy going to a show where I could sing along to songs. They opened with Invincible and kind of kept an old-song/new-song rotation going for the rest of the show. I tried to keep track of the set-list, but the best I can do is tell you they played Invincible, Justified Black Eye, On The Outside, and Redemption Song. Between those there was a sold hours worth of music. I don’t think anyone could be mad at that set.

I don’t have a ton of other stuff to say. Work has mellowed out now that I am at a new client and I am enjoying it. I also remembered my headphones today, so I was able to listen to the southing sounds of Kim Deal’s bass. I am pretty sure the opening to Gigantic is one of my favourite bass parts ever. Good times indeed.

Peace.

From the top of Fiji to the bottom of Christina Ricci

A quick recap of my trip to Kelowna may look something like this:

- Arrived in Kelowna
- Ate and drank with family
- Saw Dad’s new boat (it is bigger than I thought)
- Ate and drank with family
- Returned to Calgary

And that was my weekend. Despite the fact that it could be summed up in such a small space, I had an excellent time. I got to spend some good time with Cousin Mike, who is always an entertaining guy to hang out with. I also got to see Joel, which was cool. I’ve never spent all that much time with him due to his age being closer to that of my sister, so it was nice to be able to hang out with him for a while. I missed a couple of my other cousins who were working on the nights we went out, but I did get some good time with my grandma, who is easily one of the most entertaining people I’ve met.

The boat is huge. I have no idea how my dad and my uncle are going to sail that thing on the Okanagan. My scepticism may have more to do with my lack of sailing experience, but that looks like a pretty big boat to have to steer around other boats. I guess it wasn’t even the biggest boat in the marina, so people obviously can get around on that lake, but I wouldn’t want to be the one in charge. These days I am way better at being a passenger. The coolest part I found about the boat is now I have somewhere to stay in Kelowna that isn’t a relative’s house. That isn’t to say my dad would ever let me stay on there, but it is a possibility.

That is about it, but I just wanted to put it out there that Papoose is going to be the next huge rapper. I don’t know how I missed the kid all last year, but I’m definitely keeping tabs on him now. If you don’t know who he is, check for the only person with a good verse in that horrible new Busta Rhymes video. The fact that I can sit through two and a half minutes of disjointed crap to get to his part must mean something.

Peace.

My mind and my body's not really down with me

I wanted to put up something a little happier than that last post, but I really don’t have much else to say. As such I just wanted to share a song with anyone who wants it. I think by now everyone knows MF DOOM (I’m only doing the full cap thing once, it just looks ridiculous), but I don’t know how many people are down with MF Grimm, the dude who started the whole MF thing and from what I know pretty much put Doom on. Doom even changed his name from Zev Lov X after getting down with these guys. They were in a crew called Monster Island Czars, but now Doom has been throwing out little disses to Grimm and his former crew.

I can’t imagine too many people keep tabs on shit like this other than me, especially if it involves MF Grimm, so I thought I would share Grimm’s retort to Doom’s digs. This track has a bunch of dudes on it from MIC, and they seem angry, but Grimm’s part comes off as more of a request for reconcilitation.

So here’s some samples to get an idea of what’s going on. This track is an MF Grimm solo joint, but it’s off MF Doom’s Special Herbs and Spices Vol. 1. This track is off Grimm’s second album and it has Doom and Megalon (a dude from MIC) on it. The third track is the diss track . I really just wanted to share it because I think the beat fucking kills it.

And that was my hip-hop lesson for the day.

Speaking of hip-hop, I wanted to share this with anyone who likes Dave Chapelle. Scroll down a bit and download the two hour interview. I only know two people who don’t love this guy so everyone would probably enjoy this. Plus it’s better than auditing.

Peace.

We got a lot to do, we got a lot to be

I am doing my best to get a post up that is not overly angst-ridden, or bile filled. You must believe me when I say it is hard.

Work has not been the dreamy walk on the beach I thought it was going to be. That I never actually thought that is beside the point. Work has sucked of late, and I have let that ruin pretty much every good thing that has happened in these past couple months. Instead of being excited that I got to spend some good times with Dave, that I have hit up the mountains more times this year than any year prior, leaving me with some rudimentary snowboard skills, or the fact that I have had my now-indie ass rocked off repeatedly at numerous shows, I have been sitting around swearing at a computer and conjuring up various scenarios that would allow me to have some time off (ie. getting arrested, getting hit by a bus, jury duty, getting arrested again, etc.). This is no way to go through life.

I have also been trying to figure out why I have been struggling so much with work, and I think I found a quote that I think describes what my major malfunction is. You should probably stop reading if you don’t want to see some possibly retarded self-analysis. It can’t all be tales of drunken glory, and love letters to various bands. Plus today I am just in that kind of mood.

So reading the Sport’s Guy today, I pick out something that was written by Malcolm Gladwell, a New Yorker columnist I have never read. They were discussing something about athlete’s not being consumed with their profession and Malcolm dropped this gem: "It's really risky to work hard, because then if you fail you can no longer say that you failed because you didn't work hard." Now, say whatever you want about that, but looking at my track record I would say this definitely applies. For two glaringly obvious examples see my aborted attempts at both Mod 3, and Math 110. That shit was hard, so I didn’t try. I don’t want to be the dumb kid, who actually put in all my effort and ended up proving that I’m not as smart as everyone else. I think this is probably what is happening at work right now, which is why I end up being so stressed out that things aren’t going well. This doesn’t seem like a good system, and I’m hoping by putting it out here that I recognize it and change something.

Upon rereading what I just wrote, I think this did turn out to be some angsty, teenage garbage. Apologies to anyone who took the time to plow through it.

On a happier note, I applied for a job at Burton Snowboards today. It would involve being their AP clerk in Birmingham, Virginia. I have no real belief that I am even qualified for a job being a Canadian and all, but the idea that I looked for something in my field that I would also enjoy pleased me immensely. I have also just realised that Option-NFA is publicly traded. Perhaps if I get home tonight I will look for some jobs there.

Also, my hair is now so long that it forms knots. Fucking hippie.

Another also, since I am trying to change things here are a few more things I need to do:
- When I phone home try and have actual conversations, especially with Megan and Tory. I've only got one family and I don’t think I’m nearly as close to them as I should be.
- Quit spending all my nights at pubs, although pints appear to be my saving grace most nights.
- Get on one of my bikes and go somewhere.

It’s a short list, but I think I can do at least two of them (or have the desire to two of them).

Peace.