A couple of square meters in the end

I am officially the worst CA student ever. Instead of doing any CASB (and catching up on the outstanding weeks) this weekend, I went up to Canmore with Brehon, Wong and Stern (first names are for dorks) to bike a trail well beyond my ability and lung capacity. I bought a trail book about a month ago which was to be used to point us towards some beginner trails. Of course I forgot the book so we just went out and found a trail. The trail was awesome until we realized it went straight uphill and my lungs felt like they were bleeding. Being the giant pussy/fatass I am, I bailed on the trail and sat on Brehon’s couch until those dudes finished it. That is why you don’t see me in any of the pictures up at the top. We then went to find other trails around the town, and found the world’s coldest river. It was awesome. I looked at the book later on and found the trail we rode. It was for advanced riders and the start of it was described as a 2.67 km climb with steep sections (I wish I could remember the elevation change because it was ridiculous). That trail was an obvious choice for the first one of the year.

The rest of the weekend was spent wandering around enjoying the nice weather, and once again not doing CASB. I am not sure if it is standard for people to fall weeks behind in the program, but this module is sort of turning out like Math 110 for me. I just don’t like doing it so I drop out. I don’t really want to do that again, so to catch up I booked off a couple days next week. Hopefully the weather will be shitty so I don’t feel bad sitting inside, and can actually accomplish something.

So today being Tuesday (new album day), I feel the need for some new music. Mark hooked my up with a Strokes album, the first Coldplay cd and Keane’s cd yesterday. I don’t really know about the Keane stuff right now, but the other two are solid gold. I kinda like getting older cds that I either used to have, or had always planned on getting but never got to. I think today might be the day to get some older Elliot Smith stuff. Either that or The Decemberists’ first album. Or Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses. We’ll have to see what the music store has in stock.

Keep on keeping on kids.

It’s time I got back to the good life

It took a while but here it is; time for everyone’s favourite: album rating time! This is where I get to spout off shit about why people should listen to the same music I am listening to. Now, fact is, most of what I listen to is already listened to by other people, rendering it impossible for me to force my views upon them. This is highly unacceptable, so after being inspired by a thread on the questionable content board, here are the 10 albums I wish everyone else would listen to, but probably won’t.

1 – Dizzee Rascal – Showtime
I will fight anyone who doesn’t think this is incredible. I know I’ve written about it before, but I have yet to hear anyone tell me how much they love the album. So until that day I am going to push this shit like it was my job. Or a job where I wanted to excel. Dizzee speaks with London slang and raps super fast. He does all his own beats, and kills it every time. Plus he got stabbed by some other rappers in Ibiza last year. That is how you sell albums nowadays isn’t it?

2 – The Decemberists – Picaresque
This is bandwagon jumping at its finest. I read all over the place how this was the best album so far this year, and by gum it is. This is super catchy indie music at its finest. I defy anyone to say something is wrong with “The Mariner’s Revenge Song.” Hell, I’m listening to it as I type this, dreaming of being a pirate instead of an accountant. I don’t listen to enough indie music to draw proper parallels between this band and others, so you will just have to realize that this stands on its own as an excellent piece of work.

3 – Dizzee Rascal – Boy in Da Corner
More Dizzee. You are either in, or in the way. Seriously this time. This is like rap for people who played too much Nintendo. Or ever went to raves in high school in desperate attempts to score Carlene/free drugs off Kuzma and Shumon. Like you didn’t. Plus, Dizzee opened for Jay-Z at Wembley in London. If the god emcee thinks he is good you should to.

4 – Zion 1 – Mind Over Matter
Probably the most chilled out album I have on this list, Silly Puddy is a staple for every cd I make. I am not even sure how to describe this music. They are a west coast rap group, but I wouldn’t really compare them to the people I would consider their contemporaries (Heiro, Quannum). Dammit, I did a real shitty job explaining this one. Download Silly Puddy and listen to what I was trying to get it.

5 – Propagandhi – How To Clean Everything
This is the best punk rock cd ever created by a group of people from Winnipeg. Everyone who listens to the Weakerthans should be forced to listen to this cd to see where John K. Samson is coming from. Prop are political to a fault, but their music is so good it is forgivable.

6 – Raised Fist – Dedication
You know how you like a band and play their album forever and then three years later they release another album and the whole sound changed? That will never happen with this band. They are soldiers of hardcore and kick ass the exact same way every time they release an album. The only reason this one is included above the others is that it has Dedication on it, and that is my favourite hardcore song ever.

7 – Madvillain – Madvillainy
The fact that no one I know owns this album (except Leo) is maddening. This album got top scores across the board from every music review site I frequent (RapReviews, Pitchfork, PrefixMag). I don’t care if you haven’t yet discovered your enjoyment of hip-hop. This is the album that will help you on your way. I can’t really say much else about this, other than I can’t imagine someone being disappointed with this album. It is too well crafted.

8 – Little Brother – The Listening
This is another rap record that everyone should own. 9th Wonder is a hell of a producer and this album is laced with mellow soul samples. It is a quiet album without any club tracks or really anything people would throw on at a party, but it is perfect for throwing on when you are sitting around reading or other such activities.

9 – DL Incognito – A Sample and A Drum Machine
DL is my favourite Canadian rapper. This is actually a higher accolade than it sounds. He is up against k-os and Classified to name a couple. This cd is straight hip-hop, with very, very little filler. I think what he was shooting for was a cd that brought back the late eighties vibe, but didn’t sound dated today. I think he did that. I would recommend checking out Audio Coke and Universal Love. Both deadly songs in completely different ways.

10 – Atreyu – Suicide Noted and Butterfly Kisses
Someone’s Standing On My Chest is the song that really got me into the hard/metal/glam-core style of music. I first heard it on a sample from Victory with songs from Thursday, Waterdogs and Taking Back Sunday’s “Cute without the e”. Now that TBS song is one of my favourite songs ever, but when I got this cd all I could do was listen to the Atreyu song. The whole album is that good, and would go so far as to say this is one of my favourite cds ever.
____________________________________________________________

Looking back I could have divided this into two lists: Why Mike Should Like Hip-Hop, and Why Everyone Else Should Enjoy Screaming. Granted one list would be way longer than the other, and two of the picks don’t really fall in those categories, but I can’t say I am really bothered. I know some of you are enjoying your small dabbles in hip-hop, and with some effort and luck you can expand your collection beyond the Black Album and whatever Atmosphere tracks you downloaded.

For the non-hip-hop albums, everyone should at least try downloading a track, or hitting me up for one. It’s not like I am trying to force Pig Destroyer or Anal Cunt on you (I just dropped AC because I wanted to sound cool. I don’t actually listen to them beyond their incredible cover of the Pina Colada song. They make my brain hurt. You would never have known anyways.). These are like gateway drugs, nice and easy to lull you into a space of false security until you try going to a local show and some shitty grind band starts playing and makes your stomach hurt with their music [note: I was going to go for a far more graphic description involving shitting in mouths and stuff, but the music really does make your stomach hurt, so I went truthful]. It’ll happen, just wait. And that day you will thank me because there will be some really hot 18 year-olds at that show.

Good to see you, I will soon be naked

Tonight I made pasta out of random sauces and cheeses I found in the fridge. It turned out surprisingly good. Plus I actually made supper. Someone should give me a hero cookie. It is not often I decide to actually make a meal (not that I am saying pasta is a whole meal) due to an incredible lack of cooking products in the house (as well as skill, motivation, and other things I don't want to discuss right now). I pointed this out to my mom on the weekend, as I perused their overstuffed fridge. She then pointed out to me that when they (my parents) were starting out they didn’t have 6 kinds of olives and seven different cheeses either. Apparently I don’t recall a time when the fridge in my family’s house was not as full, but such a time did exist. I tend to forget that other people have to go through this start-up phase as well, where you don’t really have all the same things you had at your parent’s place. It is kind of hard to adjust to, but that is really just me being a whiney little girl.

Also, I appear to have picked up some type of bug in Saskatoon, making me feel like a wet bag of dog shit. I am fairly certain that I infected everyone in the audit room today with this same dog shit illness. It’s ok though, because I know they love me.

Peace.

Knock em out the box Rick

I was originally going to do some sort of continuity between post titles by following up that last one with the next line from the song. That didn’t happen because I was listening to the beat junkies and this sample got stuck in my head. In case anyone was wondering, the reason Danny put that bullet in his skull is because life can be so dull.

Back to the purpose on this post, or as I like to call it: Thoughts from the Ride Home.

- My mother has more electronic gadgets than I could aspire to own. On her work desk at home you could find a Blackberry, a Treo, an iPod shuffle, a new IBM ThinkPad, and a new 21 inch IBM LCD monitor. That is bloody ridiculous. The best part is she doesn’t know how to use any of it. She can check mail on the Blackberry, but not send it, and all she uses the Treo for is playing Popcap games. She is my hero.

- Leo and his family are gargantually talented, and his parents are amazing for having that much faith in their children. Leo just put out his first cd, his brother Tim is doing quite well as a drummer for various groups in Toronto, and Howie is working on animations for the National Film Board. They blow me away. I added a link to their production house, PPF House.

- CASB is my mortal enemy and I will do my damndest not to let it beat me again. Unfortunately, my damndest doesn’t involve much effort.

- Every time I go back to Saskatoon I question my career path more. Talking to people like Josh and Paul, who are genuinely excited about what they are doing, and look forward to being there makes me feel like a fraud.

- Had I known that piercings required so much effort I probably wouldn’t have got any. Simply due to laziness. Since I do have them, I am going to do the bare minimum to make sure they don’t start rotting or whatever it is they do.

- I am simply unable to see everyone I want when I go back. I think this means I am incredibly popular and have far too many friends to ever fit into three days. Or I am very bad at making plans and organizing my days. Possibly a little bit of both.

- I have no mechanical ability. I tried to make my old Rocky Mountain Cardiac into a single speed on Sunday, but all I really accomplished was taking apart most of the back tire and bringing the pieces in to Doug’s to let those guys finish. Apparently you need some specialized tools for this kind of thing. I wouldn’t have thought of that because I don’t use tools. Ever. On the plus side, I should have a shiny new single speed waiting for me next time I am in Saskatoon. I am going to slap on the Marzocchi Bombers I bought off Stern (but have not yet paid for), and have a rippin good time riding it around downtown. There is lots of stuff to jump off. I am hoping to put a bash plate on when I find a place around here that sells them.

I think that is an accurate synopsis of my weekend. There were no ridiculous drinking stories to share, and I am happy with that.

Peace.

I know why he put that bullet in his skull

It is now 11:30 and I am in Saskatoon. On the way here I made Tim listen to a ton of sweet, old punk samplers. I bet we heard Dull by Samiam 10 times. That song is incredible. I will find the Samiam cd tomorrow and procure it. My week 3 for CASB is due in about 1 hour and 20 minutes and I have no intention of getting it done in time. I think my facilitator hates me.

Hope I get a chance to see everyone this weekend. If not, I hope you are doing well.

Peace.

Just keep making copies of copies of copies

That about sums up how I am feeling right now. Does the fact that it is from a song called “For The Workforce, Drowning” mean anything? Who knows. There’s only 1 more day left in this week and then I head back to Saskatoon, not too bad. I had a post written up last night, but decided it was far too garbage to actually post. I’ve been doing that a lot lately, and I don’t really know why. Actually, if I posted everything I wrote, I would have something up everyday. That would be cool because then I would be king nerd, but you would also see far too much of what I think, and everyone would probably hate me.

I think tonight after I am done CASB I will try and rework that post, because it had potential. It was about CDs I want to force people to listen to. Absolutely gripping stuff. Until then I just wanted everyone to know something, but it got lost along the way to the end of this post. Goddamn.

Oh yeah, is anybody else grinning ear to ear that the conservatives are now hopefully fucked? I think that is awesome that some lady who is in politics because counting her billions got boring can pretty much decide who is going to run the country. Her and some independent MP whose main concern is some shit going on in Africa. I tried listening to that guy on Newsworld last night, but he was too boring. My attention span is only so long when there is no nudity involved. Seriously. I am that shallow.

Peace.

I’ve got this store-bought way of saying I’m ok

I kinda thought that since I bitch so much at other people about never posting on their blog, I should lead by example and keep mine relatively up to date. The issue is that I have nothing I want to share with the world. Last weekend was fun, but everyone who cares what I did was there, so that makes posting it useless. I don’t really feel like talking about work or school because that just makes me want to jump off my balcony. I would talk about other shit, but I honestly haven’t done anything else, so that is that.

Now I suppose someone might be wondering what the rest of this post is going to contain. Right now, I am still not sure, but if you bear with me, I’m sure it will end on some type of point.

Here we go. I will be in Saskatoon this weekend, for some good times. Hopefully. See Tim (my roommate and ride home) may have to work this weekend, due to retarded deadlines set by people in Toronto. That would throw a serious wrench in my plans, and keep me in Calgary for a few more months. It wouldn’t be too long actually, as I am on vacation at the end of June. I will likely spend some time in Saskatoon over that two week period, although I am looking forward to fucking around in Calgary as well. I don’t think I really get enough time to appreciate all this city has to offer. Hopefully this will change with time.

I have also been looking into jobs in other cities, as I can’t really picture Calgary as a place I want to end up. Working here is too hectic and people tend to take themselves too seriously. Also, due to prior transgressions I am sure EY would not be sad to see me leave. So Tim and I were looking around on the internet for houses in towns we would want to live in. Places like Kelowna. I would love to end up there, but the market for accountants seems a little dry. I was also looking around in Canmore, because there is a remote possibility that I could get work there, plus that town is very cool. And it has 30 year old construction workers you can date until Christmas parties, and then get rid of. Very convenient.

To sum up this useless post, I rarely have anything to say after midnight, and should stick to writing posts when I should be doing CASB.

Peace.

This is going to hurt like hell

Yes I recognize that line is from a Sarah McLachlan song, but I’ll be damned if that song isn’t deadly. It was on No Alternative for christ’s sake. That CD was easily one of the best compilations ever put together, and it now serves as a time capsule for one of my favourite periods for music. The secret song was Nirvana’s “Verse, Chorus, Verse”, anf it had Glynis! I’m sorta wishing I hadn’t passed that cd on to Evan now. Oh well.

That’s not what this post is about though. I just thought everyone would be really interested in knowing that the Universal Squash Championship of Champions is currently taking place on the 28th floor of Hull Estates, and I am down 2 games to 1 to my arch-nemesis/roommate Tim. So far Mark has been a no-show, but I am assuming once his parents are gone he will be ready to get his ass handed to him. A lot of people are probably wondering how Tim is beating me, seeing as he has red hair and all. The answer to this my friends, is something I am searching for as well. Luckily, this championship is a lease-long event, so I have plenty of time to craft my revenge. I will keep you updated.

Hope everyone has managed to keep it real, and Jon, if you read this you should really get around to posting something as I am unsure of your continued existence, and I need at least one friend who has a moustache.

Peace.

When the president talks to god..

Now I’m not saying that this song is genius, I don’t actually like it at all, but for Conor Oberst to get up there and sing that on Leno is fucking impressive (despite the fact that he was dressed like Jack White).

Bright Eyes on Leno

I have no idea if this has made it’s rounds to anybody’s e-mail yet, so if this is something that you have already had forwarded four billion times I apologize.

Peace.

I ain't drank a forty since I became old enough to drink

This post is for Rob, because I missed his birthday this weekend and was unable to entertain him with alcohol-induced antics. If you want an idea of how his last birthday turned out, he has a picture of me posted on his blog. Now, Rob is one of my favourite people to drink with because he is a lost cause, similar to myself. My favourite drunk episode of Rob is the Jackfish Lake golf tournament last August. There Jeff, Hertz and me witnessed probably the most entertaining two hours of golf ever. Rob was going a shot a hole against the Wild Turkey until the shots started turning into two or three swigs a hole. This was probably around the third tee. I doubt Rob had eaten that day because by hole 5 he was comatose in the golf cart, missing Jeff knock Hertz over with a golf cart while Hertz was taking a leak. He also missed Hertz continuing to take that leak while laying on the ground.

There are way more great stories about Rob drinking, or stories he has told me when drunk, but I’ll try not to be a douchebag and sully his name here. So Rob, here’s to hoping someone else held it down and was a drunk asshole on your birthday.

Peace.

The soap shoved in your mouth to cleanse your mind

CASB is once again trying to kill me, but I can’t let it beat me this time. I seriously think that if I were to drop out of this module it would spell the end of my career as an accountant. Not that I would mind that sometimes, but I do tend to give up on things to easy so I think I should try to suffer through this. I am already late with the first assignment, but instead of being a loser and saying I’ll just get the next one in on time, I was a loser and came to work on the weekend to work on it. Right now I am the only person on the whole 9th floor. I definitely thought the manager who desperately needed me to finish two files for her on Friday would be here reviewing them, but apparently not. Weird if you ask me, because she was adamant that all the work be finished so they could get reviewed.

On a less bitter note, next weekend is shaping up to be sweet, provided I get my shit together and finish my week 2 assignment in time. Dave and Eric are coming up Friday and hopefully we will spend that night getting our liquor on at Aussie Rules. I have talked that place up so much to these people that I can’t not take them there. Saturday is going to be the very last day of riding out at Sunshine, with hopefully some sweet slush to fall on. That night is the blue.skies.at.war/Boys Night Out show at the warehouse, which is almost 2 blocks from my apartment. Should be a sweet show. I have no idea what Sunday will bring, but likely something equally cool. See, if you come to Calgary you get action packed weekends of extreme sports and even more extreme music. Unless your name is Rob Voice, then you get no good times at all.

As a closing thought, fuck CASB. I used to look forward to the weekend, but now all I see is lame-ass memos and useless tasks.

This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

I got my iPod shuffle in the mail today. It was free. I just wanted to share that with everyone.

The title is for Mark, because that is his favourite song ever.

There’s no dignity in plastic seats

Tonight is the first practice for the office softball team. I am expecting a supreme gong-show. I was somehow volunteered to be a co-captain and tonight my other captains will not be there. I am unsure if I am supposed to run the practice, or hope someone else has shit under control. I am hoping someone else has shit under control. My only experience with anything close to softball was playing for the Cardinals back in Elementary school. I think it was around grade 5 and 6. I played back-catcher, and was pretty much the worst player on the team. I may have had 3 hits all season. I expect big things in the future.

There is also the matter of bringing beer. I was volunteered (or I may have volunteered) to be in charge of beverages for the games. This is all well and good but for tonight there was no sign up sheet (as far as I saw) and I have no idea who is going to be coming to the practice. So I am buying beer for an undetermined amount of people, and trying to find a common brand that everyone will enjoy. This is a daunting task. Luckily I have Meat (short for Dimitri) to help me and knowing him we will pick up whatever he wants. As long as I am not the one making these harsh decisions I am happy. I think I may be allergic to responsibility. A great character trait for an accountant.

In dorkier news, one of my major clients trusted this week. As far as I know, I no longer have that client, or at least we will need to bid on the job. I’m kind of disappointed because it is one of the only clients I really enjoy working on. Damn.

Without a dope beat to step to

I have spent today mostly in the office (a rare occurrence) cleaning up work I had done a previous clients. It is awesome. Rarely do I get a chance to actually finish up a file, and see it through to the end.

Quick recap of my life these days. This weekend started off great with me waking up Saturday morning on the floor of my apartment still wearing my hat, shoes and jacket, with my pants around my ankles. Tim said my keys were in the door when he got home and found me laying there around 2. He had to kick me a bunch of times to get me to move, so that he knew I was still alive. Awesome. The sleeping on the floor was the result of going away drinks for two more people quitting from work which got quite out of hand. I can’t remember a good portion of the night so chances are I was saying inappropriate shit to inappropriate people, further solidifying my hold on the office drunk crown.

Saturday was spent buying shit to make myself feel better about what a waste I was the night before. It was also spent trying to process the residual alcohol in my system. To further this Mark and I purchased huge bags of tots and had those about an hour after we had supper. I would post the picture we took of the food, but it would probably just gross everyone out. People shouldn’t eat that many tots in one sitting. It is not reasonable. We then watched a buttload of trailer park boys, which is one of the funniest shows on television.

Sunday was the day when I was supposed to get all of my CASB done, because that starts again this week, but instead I went to MEC and bought The Collective on DVD. This is a sweet mountain biking show, and watching it made me desire strongly to go out and ride. Then Chris called and we went to hit up some skate shops instead. We also picked up some food and beer so we could watch the new trailer park boys and Family Guy on full stomachs. Good times were had by all.

As for the new Family Guy, I must say that they didn’t miss a beat. If anyone was disappointed with that episode, then they had built their expectations way too high. I watched it twice, once at Chris’s, and once at our place with Mark. Both times it was hilarious. And inappropriate. Like the part about Gepetto. That was way over the line, and awesome. I can’t really say the same for American Dad, which didn’t fly through jokes at the same pace, but I think with time it will come into it’s own. Half the jokes in Family Guy were just funny because you knew what was happening from old episodes. Like the creepy old guy who Chris delivered papers to, telling the kids to make sure to stretch their milky hamstrings. That was the kind of shit that made the show.

Apparently my lunch break is over, and I need to go service another client (I meant it to sound like that).

Peace.